Are you kiddin' me?

Year 1, semester 1, week 1...

Moving right along, I really couldn't wait to tell you all about this...uh, well...I don't even know what to call him, actually. He's this student in my editing class. He's a "chick" in my vocabulary but I can see an ocean of vicious drag queens chasing me out of the Castro down market street, both chanting and labeling me as a homophobic bigot. Can you just see me running? But I'm really not a bigot (trust me) and I honestly think that Harvey Milk would get a big kick out of this as well. So, bare with me 'cause I just...(deep exhale) really have to get this off my chest.

My professor had split the class up into separate categories; directors, editors and production designers. He wanted us all to watch a scene from one of THE most remarkable films ever made. The film was The Godfather. Once we had all watched the scene that our professor chose for us, each student had to give his or her opinion on what we thought about the scene (as a director, editor or production designer). Everyone had interesting input. I was chosen to be an editor. Therefore, I had counted the amount of cuts in the scene, I knew the exact amount of lines that were looped (sorry about the film lingo if you don't understand) and I knew which match cuts were just a little off by milliseconds. I have a very keen eye for editing.

When it was time for "Miss Thing" to give his opinion about the scene, (he was chosen to be a director) upon hearing what "she" had to say, I was damaged for a moment. Let's give a little respect here, I apologize. With "his" clear coated finger nails and his tiny little, Louis Vuitton patterned tennis-shoe feet, (which were no bigger than a Barbie's) he looked at the professor as if he didn't speak any English. Now, just imagine a male's voice that's higher than it should be and I don't mean in volume. Now, imagine it an octave higher than that. Y'all with me? Cool. As he crossed his legs and swung his foot back and forth, he said he didn't get ANYTHING out of the scene. He said, that he hated old movies and he usually just tunes them out whenever he has to bare with one. Mind you, this is a kid who wants to be (remember the high pitched voice) an "On-air correspondent on "E" Entertainment." Interviewing big stars during their promotional movie junkets...

You're not fuckin' serious, are you? Okay, where should I start here? First of all, this kid...just considering the fact of wanting to be (remember the high pitched voice again) an "On-air correspondent on "E" Entertainment" is enough to send Steve Kmetko to his grave. I can see Steve howling right now, uncontrollably keeled over with laughter. I know this because Steve is a personal friend of mine and I know his sense of humor. Steve molded "E" Entertainment to what it is today. There would be no "E" if it wasn't for him. Steve may be gay but he's not Gloria Swanson! Of course, there's closet cased Ryan "Sea-Crust" who commands the stage now at "E", I believe, correct me if I'm wrong. I don't watch television anymore but if I did, I wouldn't want to see someone anchoring an entertainment show who knew nothing about film history. That's number one. Number two...butch it up, tulip! You're gayer than a parakeet! I don't think this kid could buy enough testosterone to drop the balls he was given, even if he had all the money in the world! Avoiding the risk of being sued, I unfortunately can't release a photo of him on my blog spot. But I was lucky enough to snap this one photo of him from behind. He's always in this position...doodling away, bored as hell, clueless to the real world around him. I'm sure his favorite movie of all time would be Avatar. I'm not sayin' Avatar isn't good James, I think you of all people would catch my drift in this situation.

Live and let live, I always say. You wanna run around in dresses while you're tuckin' your tinkle, go for it. You wanna open your mouth and let your purse fall out, go for it. There are some exceptions to the rule, mind you. Take Marilyn Manson for instance. Incredible visionary. Amazing musician. Very well spoken and he possesses an intelligence which is unmatched by other artists of his kind. He can wear dresses, wear make-up, parade himself in any manner that he pleases. He's informed, confident and knows what he's talking about. He's not a follower, he's a leader.

Here's the deal. There's no doubt in my mind where this kid is headed. He's in school after all. A school of the arts, mind you. I have several friends who thought they would make it in Hollywood in the film industry but ended up working as, "On air correspondents" with some gay cable network and all they do is base on famous people and what they wear. Robert Laughlin, for one, gets paid God knows how much money to rip people apart. And I know Robert very well. But you have to know something, classmate of mine, something you need to carry with you for the rest of your life; if it wasn't for the past, there would be no future. If it wasn't for George Lucas, there would be no James Cameron. Ask James some day...IF you interview him, he'll admit to that. And that's an ERICKISM!